Its the Journey
As I sat down to write this post I had insanely volunteered—Yes, volunteered!—to write, I kept asking myself how it was I was going to put into words the most mind-bending arduous and incredibly beautiful journey of self-discovery I have experienced in this life. Closing my eyes, I heard that ever present voice quietly and gently saying, “You’ve got this. Just speak from your heart.” So, here it is. The story of my journey, thus far, as succinctly and precisely as I can tell it, imbued with all the magnificence, light and love the vastness of my being holds.
I must confess, a little over a year ago, I’d never even heard of the Modern Mystery School (MMS). Those were the dark days. So, I could tell you about the many amazing and wonderful healings I’ve received since. Or, I could tell you about all the many classes I’ve taken and how these have tremendously aided my growth and advanced me along my path of discovery in ways I’d not expected or thought possible. But first, let me explain a little something about myself. About how I rarely do anything the easy way. About how I just had to ask—repeatedly, no less—for that path that would take me through the mountain and not around. Hello, MMS. About that little BIG thing we all possess called EGO.
Ego is not an aspect of self I was unaware of. Nor was I unaware of the fact I have a very strong ego. But who knew shining a little light on her—yes, I call my ego her, among other things, as we have a very close, personal relationship now—was going to cause such a ruckus? Mind you, a blessing filled ruckus for which I am eternally grateful, but a ruckus nonetheless. Who knew that my lovely little ego, was going to tell me that she was not going to be satisfied until I burned alongside her! Yes, she did.
A little backstory. Pretty much all my life, people never saw past the illusion I had created. Lovingly described by those closest to me as a “mama bear”, and not so lovingly by others as a “bitch”, I was, for the most part, seen as a strong, confident, happy person. After all, what woman who is viewed as strong and confident hasn’t been described or defined as a bitch at one time or another? However, truth was a far cry from perception. Even those closest to me were oblivious to how deep was my actual despair. To be fair, sharing my darkest truths was not something I readily did as I’d been programmed at an early age to keep certain truths to myself. Further, some truths were buried so deep even I wasn’t consciously aware of them, yet they were the driving force in my life. Thus, it was I found myself in a place so dark, so bleak that I kept asking a God I’d been taught was in some remote, mystical place in the yonder—a God I wasn’t even certain I believed in anymore—why it was I couldn’t just go to sleep one night and not wake up? Why it was I couldn’t just come home? Why it was I had to stay here…where I felt so alone, so lonely? In my despair, I wanted to know what had happened to that little girl I remembered that loved everything and everyone? Where had she gone? Why was she not loved? Three times I asked and the third time, my despondency greater than ever, I was answered. The most beautiful and radiant feeling of love I have experienced washing over me, I heard a gentle voice say, “You are loved…and you are not alone. You have never been alone.”
From that moment on, I knew my life was forever changed. That the way ahead was forward, into the light.
Certain aspects of my ego, however, did not like that idea. Always a thinker anyways, my negative ego kicked into overdrive. Especially, after I was divinely guided to a MMS Healer and received a Life Activation, subsequently deciding to attend my first MMS class, Empower Thyself.
I really do believe my ego gave new definition to the word resistance.
Oh, she let me attend the first day no problem. Second day, however, was a different story. It literally took all my will—and I have a boatload of will—not to mention a whole lot of divine intervention, for me to make that second day of class. In fact, so great was the struggle, a “special project angel”—as I like to describe her—stepped in to assist. As she has done on other occasions when my resistance, aka Super Ego, gets too much out of hand. Since that first class, though, I have received many blessed healings, to include the King Salomon Healing Modality, and attended several classes to include Healer’s Academy I. Most recently, I embarked upon the path of the Ritual Master. To say that my ego threw up some roadblocks would be an understatement. In fact, I would equate it more to an absolute hissy fit in nuclear form. Once again, my life is undergoing significant change. But it is necessary change. Change that has come about as a result of all the light I now hold shining on dark truths I refused to acknowledge. The absolute most amazing and wonderful thing about it all, though, is that for the first time in sixty years of existence, I see the beauty, the grace, the blessings in every single experience I’ve had in this life. Granted, I can still throw myself a grand pity party when I CHOOSE. But, despite the childhood trauma of sexual abuse and a violent alcoholic father, despite being told how unworthy I was for various and sundry reasons by a guilt-ridden mother and religious dogma, despite choosing relationships that only fostered and reinforced my own negative view of myself because I thought I didn’t deserve better, I can truthfully and with complete and utter sincerity say I AM grateful for it all. Why? Because the journey I chose to embark upon—that mountain I chose to go straight through with MMS—revealed me. The REAL me. For the first time, I truly see me. For the first time, I actually know my own value. For the first time, I actually LOVE … ME.
So, come. Join me. Choose the light and walk with me on this beautiful journey of discovery.
A whole family of brothers and sisters awaits you with open arms.
Rita Miles